tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30793147177300890302024-02-01T23:13:26.869-08:00[Utmost of the Endmost]I'm the saddest words you've spoken; <i>I'm a promise broken</i>Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.comBlogger197125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-34068463637025144212011-03-26T17:19:00.000-07:002011-03-26T17:21:37.731-07:00Sucker PunchWAS AMAZING, OH MY GOD. <br /><br />(don't worry, no spoilers) I've been waiting for that movie to come out since around about when it started filming, and now that the wait is over OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS. It is all sorts of amazing! It's everything I hoped it would be! The only parts that displeased me were the lack of bloodshed, where it easily could have been, and also the blatant censorship of swear words. I blame the ratings people for that; they would have told the editors to take those things out. BUT, aside from that minor discrepancy, I LOVED IT. SO MUCH. Oh my goodness. So good.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-43930149788274630572011-03-23T18:35:00.000-07:002011-03-23T18:36:41.648-07:00Posted this on AG, now let's put it here.WARNING: deep, personal TL;DR wall of text ahead. I posted this on AG first, but I feel like posting it here. I might take it down eventually, I dunno yet.<br /><br /><br /><br />I haven't mentioned it much, but these past couple years I have been trying to change myself. Not so much the eat healthier, sleep better, blah, blah, blah, stuff, but my actual personality and how I act or react to things that happen around me. The kind of person I am.<br /><br />(you can skip the next couple of paragraphs if you know of my history of being a little mentally fucked)<br /><br />I first came to AG in early '03, and later that year my little bro died. Escapism struck me pretty quick, and that's when I first ventured to the General boards. And then I just kinda... stayed there. It was only a matter of months before I had degraded to a completely different person. I became violent, I gained a ridiculous case of aphenphosmphobia, I grew very very good at fake smiling, and inside, I was just angry at everyone and everything and I didn't know why. I stopped having dreams. My siblings became strangers. I would do all I can to stay home and not go anywhere if I didn't absolutely have to. I hated a lot of things and was mean to a lot of people. Over the next few years I had gotten a bit better, a little less violent, physical contact with other humans didn't send me into a blind rage (but I still detested it strongly), a lot of my smiles were real, but I was still pretty angry inside. I had never cried since my brother died, and I still haven't cried since then. At one point during this time, my mom said we were going out for pizza, so I grudgingly clambered into the van, only to find out half way to town she was actually taking me to a shrink. My reaction was an emotionless face but inside a raging shit storm started. I was pissed that my mom thought I was crazy. The anger and that thought didn't die for quite a few years.<br /><br />Then, in gr. 12, I had writer's craft class. That class gave me a good creative outlet and it really helped me heal some. And one day, my teacher - who is the sweetest, nicest, most awesome lady I've ever met - told something to our class. She told us, basically, that when things go wrong, you can react one of two ways. "You can get bitter or you can get better."<br /><br />And that's when it hit me that I had gotten bitter since my brother passed away, so very bitter.<br /><br />Around this time in my life there was a guy. He was pretty messed in the head, but he claimed he loved me. I was dubious, and we never officially dated, but he had a lot of mental issues and I wanted to help him through it. For a few years he was my best friend, but then a bunch of shit went down and I realized he had been fucking with my head the entire time. We started fighting a lot, and eventually, just one random day, he was chewing me out for something and trying to make me feel guilty like he always did, and right then and there I realized how tired I was of being toyed with like that and I realized that it needed to stop, and that I could easily stop it. So instead of trying to come to a compromise or trying to turn it around like I usually did, I plain and simply said "Fine, fuck you." and I haven't seen/talked to him since. FEELS SOOOOO GOOD OMFG. Also, found out about a year ago he's a compulsive liar IT ALL MAKES SENSE. This is turning into a tangent, I digress.<br /><br />Over the last two or three years I've been struggling to rise above the shitpile I had turned myself into. I let myself smile real smiles more. I let go of my anger through writing and drawing. I got over my shyness and stopped pretending to be things I wasn't, I talked to people, I was my real self, and I tried so hard not to lie about anything. I made some real friends, got in contact with someone that had been a best friend before my brother died, and we're still best friends to this day - thank god for that. I've been working to chase my dreams, which isn't easy, and it's scary, but it's turning into a fun adventure. Admittedly, right now, if someone hugged me, I don't think I would push them away. I wouldn't necessarily enjoy it, but I wouldn't react negatively. In fact, the other day, one of my new friends was crying and without a word I gave her a quick hug (then told her that I don't really hug people, but I was worried. we then talked it out a bit, and we're closer now so that's cool). Also, over the last few years, I've found I really enjoying going out and goofing off with friends - for quite a while now I've not been one to want to stay home and sulk in my own escapism. FEELS GOOD, MAN. At some point in here, not sure when, it kinda clicked that I spent too much time trying to figure out my head. So I stopped worrying about whatever the hell my brain was doing and I just focused on becoming what I wanted to be. (In all honesty, there was quite a long stretch of time in there where I honestly had no idea what emotions I was feeling at any point - I just knew that I was FEELING things, and I often reacted inappropriately to the given emotion 'cause I didn't know what I was actually feeling. It's hard to go back to having emotions other than raw rage. you forget how everything feels, and you're not sure what anything is supposed to be, you just know suddenly something feels different and you're not sure what and you don't know why and you've no idea how to treat it or act upon it. It's hard to describe... kinda like how when your legs fall completely asleep and you need to walk but you can't feel them, hold yourself up or move them, but you kinda can. hard to asplain D: hurrr)<br /><br /><br />Basically, I've been changing for the better.<br /><br /><br />Now, for this next part, I don't believe entirely in dream interpretation, but I do think some truth lies in the whole 'dreams are a message from your subconscious' statement.<br />But over the last few years, I've started dreaming again. Each time I wake up from one, I pop online and check dream dictionaries. Most of them were things that meant I needed to change my life, which I was well aware of. As time progressed, I started having dreams that told me I either had secrets I needed to tell people or that I needed to stop hiding - I had to turn that better person I was pretending to be into what I actually was (*note: this is an old habit from the fake smiles, I think. I had gained the mentality that if I can continuously fake an action or behavior, I will adapt to it and it would become real). Just a few nights ago I had a dream (read: nightmare) that had a confusing as fuck translation that meant I was doing well at changing for the better and had changed a lot in my life, also that I needed desperately to change for the better because I hadn't changed at all, and it also translated into me being an awful person that is sneaky, secretive, greedy and childish but apparently I'm also open, honest, helpful and a good friend. So that was a confusing little mindfuck. I decided stress was a factor; school and some family stuff had me a little stressed.<br /><br />But last night... last night I had a really peaceful dream. I'm not as stressed as I was before, because I've gotten better at time management and there's been nothing but good family news lately. The dream was fun, it was good, there were a few things in it that made me a little uneasy but overall it was one of those dreams that puts someone in a really fucking good mood.<br /><br />So, I looked it up. If it's any true indication to what's going on, I've done well for myself. It was very much a dream of celebration and happiness, and it meant I'm pretty much well on my way to becoming that kind of person I wanna be/I'm almost that person I wanna be. I think there's some truth to that.<br /><br />Now that my siblings have grown up, moved out, got married, and have kids, I never fight with them any more. Me and my brother get along well, I wish I were closer to him, but at least we don't fight any more. Our conversations and visits still feel awkward though. I do care about him a lot and I want to tell him that, but it's kind of weird still I guess. ^^" My sister and I, on the other hand, well, she's stopped being bipolar towards me (back in the day, she'd be clingy and all "i love yooou~" one minute, the next she'd be beating the shit out of me and screaming about how much I've changed and how much she hated the person I had become - honestly part of why I wanted to change so bad lol), and now we even talk about stuff we could never talk about before. Whenever I'm home I spend nearly 1/3 of my time with her and my nephew, and now she even texts me every few days to tell me she misses me. I think I've successfully fixed that sibling relation.<br /><br />These past few months, I have been really happy. I've been a little stressed, but I think I've spent less time depressed and down on myself in the last few months than I have in years upon years. I honestly feel free. I honestly, truly believe I've broken out of being a bitter person, I honestly think I'm back on the right track towards being 'better'. I'm not there yet, but holy shit, have I ever put a lot of ground behind me!<br /><br /><br />I think... I think that I really am on my way to becoming better. I'm able to greet people with a real smile, I'm making good friends, everyone seems to be pretty friendly with me, and I am doing my best to be kind and honest and helpful and friendly to everyone I meet. I'm more open-minded and easy-going than I've ever been. I compliment people where I can, and I ALWAYS mean it - and I'm always truly, honestly thankful whenever someone pays me a compliment. I'm just about over my phobia, I think - still some reservations, but whatever - I'm doing well at getting over myself. Just gotta keep pushing through it, it's working so far. I honestly wanna be one of those people that people think of and say, "yeah, that person is a good person". I still have the occasional day where out of nowhere I'm just angry at everything and I hate everyone, but I fix those days but ignoring communication with the outside world and either drawing it out, writing it out, or watching movies/anime/reading comics/recording lines/whatever until it goes away. Listening to angry music at these times seems to help too, haha.<br /><br />And then there's the fact of my sexuality. I still haven't figured it out exactly; not worrying about it for now, I'll worry about it when the time comes. I'm still fairly certain I'm asexual, since I really have no desires to anything with anyone of either gender, but I still got some hetero tendencies in there. If I HAD to pick a gender I like, I'd pick men, hands down, but I'd still much rather have nothing to do with either of them. That's where I stand now, I think, but like I said, not worrying about that for now.<br /><br />Ah, forgot to mention the voices in my head. They've been fairly quiet the past few months, almost a year. The times I hear them are getting more and more sparse. MY MIND IS LIBERATED! hahaKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-74010151680973290432010-11-02T12:21:00.000-07:002010-11-02T12:22:58.362-07:00I'm not deadNaNoNaNoNaNoNaNoNaNoNaNoNaNoWriMo!<br /><br />Writing fills me with glee. To the point I actually can be arsed to blog again.<br /><br />Not too much going on, got into college up in Ottawa and will be starting there in January. Yeah.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-80106026396071560842010-04-05T12:13:00.000-07:002010-04-05T12:17:26.949-07:00ANGRY ANGRY ANGRYDON'T KNOW WHY BUT INT HE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WHILE IN CLASS I JUST STARTED FEELING SO FULL OF RAGE. I AM SO ANGRY AT <span style="font-weight:bold;">EVERYTHING</span> AND I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHY.<br /><br />I. AM. SO. INEXPLICABLY. ANGRY.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-68348373809892314792010-03-30T11:39:00.000-07:002010-03-30T11:51:21.789-07:00FINALLY BACK ON MY BLOGFUCK YOU, GOOGLE!<br /><br />So I made a new gmail for my new mangadub production group.<br /><br />So with it, I intended to make a new youtube account. <br /><br />...email already in use. WTF?! I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO! And of course, they tell me this AFTER they use up the username. So now I need to get a new fucking email to make a youtube account with, and I need to rename the fucking production group. <br /><br />Before raging out and doing that, I tried logging in anyways, to see if it would take me to the page it created even though my braaaand new email was "taken". And you know what? It logged me in. TO AN OLD CHANNEL IT DID THE EXACT FUCKING SAME THING WITH MONTHS AGO. So, great, now they're letting me in an old channel I tried making that they wouldn't let me log in to, BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY NEW ONE?!<br /><br />So then I rage!Quit youtube, and delete this new/old/fuckedupbygoogle account. <br /><br />And you know what? This old account that is linked with my new email is somehow linked with my blogger AND BY DELETING IT I DELETED MY BLOGGER LOGIN.<br /><br />But more on that in a minute. This story gets better. Not only is the production group's name STILL TAKEN, youtube fucked up the age, and wouldn't let me try to re-signup with youtube, because I was "too young". So then I had to reset ALL of my YouTube cookies. Fuck you, google. So then I re-signed-up, AND IT SOMEHOW WORKED?! with a DIFFERENT production group name, making the gmail for it completely obselete, so now I need to make a new gmail with a matching production group name....<br /><br />Back to my Blogger issues. Where was I? Oh, yes, right, GOOGLE DELETED MY BLOGGER LOGIN. Oh, but my blogs were still here, BUT MY LOGIN AND USER DIDN'T EXIST.<br /><br />So finally, after months of not-blogging, I rage!Rejoin. Sort of. I played the lost-password card. And even though my hotmail (which isn't linked with my new gmail but somehow was anyways) doesn't exist on blogger's server any more, it sent info to me anyways. And you know what? GOOGLE GAVE ME A NEW LOGIN FOR BLOGGER WITHOUT EVEN FUCKING TELLING ME. Thanks, guys, THANKS. WTF. Seriously?! AND GUESS WHAT? IT'S MY NEW/OLD GMAIL, WHICH ISN'T EVEN LINKED TO MY HOTMAIL. AHAHAHAHAH. WTF.<br /><br />But at least I can get back in >=|<br /><br />AND I STILL FUCKING HATE GOOGLE. SRSLY. WTF. SO MANY FLAWS IN YO SYSTUMS D;Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-15142607944770743982010-03-11T06:14:00.000-08:002010-03-11T06:16:11.017-08:00A song that motivates me.Dunno why, but this song just has the most EPIC mood to it, in my mind. It really makes me feel motivated. I'm not sure what kind of motivated I feel; I just feel... motivated. And for someone as lazy as I, motivation is great. Got lots done yesterday.<br /><br />Enjoy.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NI1dDIpB6k0&hl=en_GB&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NI1dDIpB6k0&hl=en_GB&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />When our time is up<br />When our lives are done<br />Will we say, we've had our fun<br /><br />Will we make a mark this time<br />Will we always say we tried<br /><br />We're standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br /><br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br />This is all we got now<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br /><br />All the love I've met<br />I have no regrets<br />If it all ends now, I'm set<br /><br />Will we make a mark this time<br />Will we always say we tried<br /><br />We're standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br /><br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br />This is all we got now<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br /><br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Wait until the bombs drop<br />This is all we got now<br />Scream until your heart stops<br /><br />Never gonna regret<br />Watching every sunset<br />We'll, listen to your heartbeat<br />All the love that we found<br /><br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Wait until the bombs drop<br />This is all we got now<br />Scream until your heart stops<br /><br />Never gonna regret<br />Watching every sunset<br />We'll, listen to your heartbeat<br />All the love that we found<br /><br />Scream your heart out<br />Scream your heart out<br />Scream your heart out<br />Scream your<br /><br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br /><br />Standing on the rooftops<br />Everybody scream your heart out<br />This is all we got now<br />Everybody scream yourKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-71704896061980906022010-03-08T06:32:00.000-08:002010-03-08T06:51:18.348-08:00This WeekendThis weekend was super-cool. I got some more stuff recorded on Friday, but pretty much relaxed and decided not to do some auditions that... I probably should have. Meh.<br /><br />On Saturday I was asked by one Mr. OmegaOptimusSupreme if I was available for the Team ZORM podcast with MasakoX. ...Sadly, I was not D: But that's ok. We'll just do it at a later point in time. I wasn't available because I was in Sarnia with my mom and sister. We went down by the Bayside mall, and even IN IT! [gasp]. Bear Creek Studio is closing down, but Ariel hinted that someone else is buying it and continuing on with it. Not too sure though. So I picked up a crap load of art supplies - giant wooden mannequin, medium sized hand mannequin, micron brush tip pen, micron .005 tip pen, a box of really pricey but nice markers (can't remember company), a book on perspective, a set of brush-tip pens, another giant sketch book (I just love those!), a CD by Kirk, and a set of new paints (mine are running low, and those were on sale, so why not?). Once we were done, I couldn't convince my sister or mom to go into Future Past Times with me. lol, oh well. XD<br /><br />Then - and this is my favourite part of my weekend - I got to go see Kara and Jessimaca and Travis! :D Yaaaay!~ I gave Travis his present from Florida. We chilled out and played Little Big Planet, and there was a ninja, and Travi's bean-bag person looked like a pretty girl, and my bean-bag person was awesome and some kid thought it was a scary monster. Ehehehe. Then we went to othermom's house, and everyone watched Ponyo and ate stew!~ It was a fantastic visit. X3 <br /><br />Sunday sucked, but was still not bad. I got up early to help dad with barn chores, went to church, then took a three hour nap when I got home XD From there, I used my new hand mannequin thingie to practice drawing hands, and I drew a really good one. I coloured it with my new markers, too :D It's pretty~ Probably one of the best hands I've ever drawn.<br /><br />Zetsu was being a brat, he was covered in mud and kept trying to jump on my bed, and when I closed off upstairs, he ran and hid in the basement. He REALLY did not want to go out side. So I just left him in the basement. XD Nobody was on Skype (<i><b>WAT?!</b></i>) so I started trying to find techno remixes of Disturbed songs on YouTube. Only found a few good ones, but here's one of them. This one really impressed me - he must have a wicked vocal-ripping program. Makes me want to do remixes. XD<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ei2j9hA0UVU&hl=en_GB&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ei2j9hA0UVU&hl=en_GB&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />And this one (these ones?) are just SO. PLAIN. CATCHY. AND UPBEAT. WTF. Love 'em.<br /><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Gbt5-s8WmQQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Gbt5-s8WmQQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />While listening to some of this lovely stuff, I worked on cleaning up panels of the first chapter for Stand Up!. It took me SIX HOURS, but I got all 112 or so panels from the first chapter cleaned up and ready to go. All together, the video for this mangadub for chapter one of Stand Up! will have over three hundred pictures. ...Yeah. I felt motivated, so I had to get it done. About half way through, though, Zombi got on Skype so I chatted with him and Optimus, and eventually Mukluk got on and we had a grand ol' time. Mr. Apokkykins showed up later, too, and it was a fun little voice chat :D But I told Mukluk he was gonna get AIDs and die. I don't think he liked that much XP But still fun.<br /><br />Yeah, so, rundown of my weekend. Some parts were boring, but amazing all at once. Most parts were just amazing. XDKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-50248464410508992302010-03-02T07:46:00.001-08:002010-03-05T19:59:50.146-08:00Things to do before the week is up.1. Shit to record: 2/4<br />2. Drawings/comics: 3/8<br />3. School projects: 1/1<br /><br /><br /><u>Breakdown:</u><br />1. a) <del>Who Wants to be a Super Villain? - Morganna the Striking's plan</del><br /> b) Two Words - send in as many different voice clips as possible<br /> c) <del>FFVIII - Rinoa audition</del><br /> d) Stand Up! Mangadub - mom's lines<br />2. a) <del>Character design for Mollie</del><br /> b) <del>Character design for Rey</del><br /> c) <span style="font-weight: bold;">Character design for Kiron</span> - in progress<br /> d) <del>Character design for Markus</del><br /> e-h) comic strips 1-4<br />3. <del>Business project part A</del>Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-50278245952317282092010-02-10T18:35:00.000-08:002010-02-10T18:46:04.058-08:00So frustrating...I've had so many friends that are just so down on themselves lately, and it's starting to drag me down. Confidence issues, mental issues, personal issues, boyfriend troubles, girlfriend troubles, fiancée troubles, job/career issues, etc., etc., etc.<br /><br />It's pretty troubling. I want to help them all, but there are so few I can help. What troubles me most is that one of them, probably one of the friends I've had for the longest, is in a really deep rut - and I tried to help her out, but she pretty much flat out said I probably wouldn't be able to help. Surprisingly, that... bothered me a lot. I tried to laugh it off with her, and offer what advice I could, and she did appreciate it... but I still feel kinda useless.<br /><br />And plus, everyone being so depressed is dragging me down. ALL THIS DARKNESS AROUND ME IS SMOTHERIIING MEEE </emo><br /><br />But yeah. ;_; I need people to cheer up, so I can cheer up.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-701159092318977412010-01-30T13:41:00.000-08:002010-01-30T13:44:10.802-08:00Blue hair and Ontarioga<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBBuO4q2eht7fafOE5AoJkpSmdglSIrJt2oQ6uO1nyhA_4ZX6_-Xv5C_TplHSzbPRLrYFrSbfJNBXnRfdj4cILpTwHilbRPlxBdxYjBJSby43cnIUh6_n2by0QsOCyDNasSoCD0oPg6cA/s1600-h/toga+pub+blue+hair.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBBuO4q2eht7fafOE5AoJkpSmdglSIrJt2oQ6uO1nyhA_4ZX6_-Xv5C_TplHSzbPRLrYFrSbfJNBXnRfdj4cILpTwHilbRPlxBdxYjBJSby43cnIUh6_n2by0QsOCyDNasSoCD0oPg6cA/s320/toga+pub+blue+hair.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432651518325707810" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Are the <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">masses </span>now <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">appeased</span>?<br /><br /></span></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYJjYR4NMv8BI8MJvmOKyL2Ni5TU5_02MtDyG-_OYIq1uDMssxvHznAJ3jNlUVtM_EQ1Zgn5CsOIzmmdAAOnu12Ombh1v3_43xMeq4cqMP9Kr_z89t3cNmnZ33zzhJwNUEAlNqxcwVaQ0/s1600-h/toga+pub+blue+hair+awesome.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYJjYR4NMv8BI8MJvmOKyL2Ni5TU5_02MtDyG-_OYIq1uDMssxvHznAJ3jNlUVtM_EQ1Zgn5CsOIzmmdAAOnu12Ombh1v3_43xMeq4cqMP9Kr_z89t3cNmnZ33zzhJwNUEAlNqxcwVaQ0/s320/toga+pub+blue+hair+awesome.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432651518851712706" border="0" /></a>Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-80276888448685456892010-01-27T20:50:00.000-08:002010-01-27T20:52:17.156-08:00MY HAIR IS BLUE.YAH. SEMI-PERMANENT.<br /></report>Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-53705203024484363582010-01-26T08:23:00.001-08:002010-01-26T08:29:50.395-08:00I think I have food poisoning ;_;So I got up today, made it to breakfast in time before class, and... none of the food looked appetizing. I was hungry anyways - very hungry - so I just took what looked the best, smothered it in ketchup, and ate away. It was not tasty, by any means, and I don't think that bacon was cooked. I couldn't even eat all of it. I hurried of to class, but by the time I was sitting down in that room across campus, I had the worst. stomach. ache. ever.<br /><br />Before my teacher could even start, I decided to split. I felt like I was dying. It was hell enough to sit there and listen to him get off topic and talk about the same note he handed out three weeks ago, I didn't need to sit there with a very cramped up stomach, to boot. So I went back to my room and slept. <br /><br />I just got up now 'cause it's too damn hot to sleep anymore. Even though it's been like, five hours since I ate, my stomach still feels like it's collapsing in on itself and tearing itself to bits. DX Looks like I'm skipping lunch. Ow, my tummmyyyyy....Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-70049433140174737192010-01-24T07:56:00.000-08:002010-01-24T08:09:18.956-08:00GO LISTEN TO MY PODCAST, PLOX.'Kay, so, Team ZORM episode two is officially up! <a herf="http://teamzorm.mypodcast.com/2010/01/Team_ZORM_ep_2-278543.html" target="new">Click here to go have a listen!</a> Unfortunately, we didn't wind up re-recording it with MasakoX (co-creator of Naruto abridged, part of Team Four Star, and creator of Kampfer Abridged) as planned, simply because the scheduling was a mess. However, he promised he'd come back for episode three, which will be on voice acting.<br /><br />I know it's long, but at least try to give it a listen? =( Even if you don't get all the way through it, that's cool, at least give it a shot. There is significantly less swearing than the last episode, so don't worry about that. XD Actually, recording this podcast was a lot of fun :D I liked doing it more than the first episode, MUCH more - even if we did wind up doing it twice, haha.<br /><br />But yeah. I... really like being part of Team ZORM. I love those guys like brothas, we just get along so well and conversation flows so naturally. It helps that none of us are really alike, at all, so that definitely adds a whole dose of fun-fun-stuff into the mix. :D I like doing podcasts with them. And all of us are in this for the longhaul, come what may. SO BRING IT ON! HWAHWAHWA! <span style="font-size:78%;">(Okay, so the caps part here doesn't reflect anything or even make sense, but I couldn't help it. So sue me.)</span><br /><br />So, yeah. Go give Team ZORM episode 2 a listen, and don't be afraid to check out some of our solo projects while your there. Zombi does manga reviews, Optimus does... he doesn't have anything up yet. Errr. Mukluk will be doing rants, but he doesn't have any up yet, either. I, the R in Team ZORM - Raventail - do drunken rambles/podcasts. XD<br /><br />Don't be afraid to tell me what you thought of episode 2, but especially don't be afraid to leave a comment right on the page. :D We're attention whores. Give us love. ...Or hate. <span style="font-size:78%;">(Or neutrality?)</span> Either one is fine, as long as you leave a comment. XDKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-54651894922143633672010-01-20T09:41:00.000-08:002010-01-20T09:54:11.827-08:00Rage, Relaxation, and Tree-ClimbingRAGE:<br />My roommate failed out, and, "to be fair to the students who paid for a single room", I either have to find another roommate from a list of only four people (two I don't like, two I don't know) and move, or I get to pay the school another $995. NOT. HAPPY. At all.<br /><br />RELAXATION:<br />It feels good to be back at school, away from naggy family. It also feels good to be back to my drinking habits. It also feels good to be back especially since my work load is a shit load lighter than it was last semester.<br /><br />TREE-CLIMBING:<br />Signed up for Tree Care Techniques class, even though I didn't take Arboriculture, and even though the strain of trying to learn everything I missed is a little crazy, IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING FUN. I get to climb (branchless) trees with nothing but a holster and a rope :D HARD, SO HARD, SO VERY DIFFICULT AND PHYSICALLY TAXING, <span style="font-size:78%;">and I'm afraid of heights,</span> but good Lord is it ever a delightful challenge! I love it! Got tested on it today and passed with flying colours. That was with tying my own knots and everything! Hehe. I even made it to the top of the treeeee~<br />We also get to climb ropes, just ropes, nothing around them, just hanging from a 20-something foot ceiling ropes, using nothing but the foot-locking technique to get us up. All lower body strength, so it's easy peasy. I caught on without even having to be told how to do it. XD Only problem was that my shoes don't like gripping the rope, so it made trying to wrap my feet around the working end properly to stand on the rope each time I wanted to move up difficult. BUT STILL FUN. I found a way to wrap my feet slightly more differently until I get better, less worn-out steel toed boots for it.<br /><br />Fun fun tree climbing.<br /><br /><br />BUT GAH I'M SO ANGRY AT RES STAFF! ARRRRG.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-7182616440752640882010-01-17T18:41:00.000-08:002010-01-17T19:24:11.309-08:00MetalocaplypseFinished the first two seasons in three days. And most of the extras. Probably my favourite TV show ;D Metalocalypse! Yay!<br /><br />Toki and Pickles are tied for my favourite - Toki is just WAY too funny, and Pickles just reminds me so much of me it almost isn't funny (aside from the drugs, yeah, he reminds me sooo much of me).<br /><br />Next up is Skwisgar and Nathan - Nathan is just waaaay to hilarious. Everything he says cracks me up, and he is just an awesome character. XD Skwisgar... well, you can't NOT love Skwisgar!<br /><br />Next isn't a band member, but their manager. He is pretty much immortal 'cause he's so kick ass, even though he's so serious he's really entertaining, and he's voiced by LUKE SKYWALKER.<br /><br />And Murderface... I HATE MURDERFACE. AUGH. He is sometimes funny, but for the most part, I just wanna punch him. Gawd.<br /><br /><br /><br />But dammit, that's a DAMN good series. And I just love the music, too! Dethklok is great :D<br /><br />But yeah. Guise. Go wach. nao. plox. yah. its gud. hurrhurr.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-41800397801029055412010-01-10T11:45:00.000-08:002010-01-10T11:49:59.251-08:00Back to school soon.I'm probably headin' back to Ridgetown today, considering it's supposed to snow a bit over night.<br /><br />At least, I'd like to, but.... my car is still in the shop, and my cousin STILL doesn't know what's wrong with it. Ugh. And my parents don't wanna give me a ride. WTF?! I don't get them they are frustrating and annoying D=<<br /><br />But anyways, yeah. Holidays are over, I guess. Back to school.<br /><br />I dunno if I told you guys, I have a room to myself now. My room mate flunked out. Her program is really hard, though, and even though it's upsetting, she's gonna try for it again next year. But... room to myself, yay? More drunken skype-ing? lol.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-86459157793551698932010-01-04T19:48:00.000-08:002010-01-04T19:54:17.628-08:00New Years ResolutionsGenerally, I don't make new years resolutions. I mean, I don't make resolutions PERIOD, so why should New Years be any different?<br /><br />But anyway, I've decided to go for three this year.<br />1) stop biting my nails. I've been biting them a lot lately, and it sucks. It needs to stop.<br />2) save money better. It was a slap in the face the other day when I found a bank statement from FOUR AND A HALF YEARS AGO, and the number on that one compared to my most recent one was... only about a thousand. I haven't even made a thousand dollars in like, 5 years. That's bad. I need to stop spending unnecessarily.<br />3) eat healthier. Looking at how much candy I've been eating over the past few months, it's no wonder everything is so out of whack (sleep habits, energy levels, amount of food I can eat, etc.) I'm not too worried about this one, I'm pretty good at self control when it comes to eating habits. I mean, now that I've noticed it's a problem, it'll be easy. Haha.<br /><br /><br /><br />I spent my new years like so:<br /><br />New years eve, went to Britt's, since she's in Ontario and I miss her, hurr.<br />We sat out in the woods, burning things, roasting hot dogs, and drinking in the snow, all while listening to coyotes howl. New Years day we ate Chinese food for supper and she sat around playing WoW all day while I played Grand Fantasia. XD It was fun. :3<br /><br />She's heading back to Newfie-land tomorrow and I'm gonna miss her, 'specially since the next time I could see her could literally be YEARS, y'know, since the rest of her family will be moving out east some time this year. ;_;<br /><br />Sucks. But oh well.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-43924840037585444332009-12-29T15:26:00.000-08:002009-12-29T15:32:13.752-08:00My gender.I needed something to distract me.<br /><br />YOUR BOY SIDE:<br /><br />[x] you love hoodies<br />[x] you love jeans<br />[x] dogs are better than cats<br />[x] it's hilarious when people get hurt and fall<br />[x] you've played with/against boys on a team?<br />[x] shopping is torture<br />[ ] sad movies suck ((I like sad movies D: books moreso, but I love sad movies!))<br />[x] you own a XBOX,<br />[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid <i></i><br />[x] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter<br />[x] you owned a DS PS2 or Sega<br />[x] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers<br />[ ] you watch sports on TV<br />[x] gory movies are cool<br />[ ] you used to go to your dad for advice ((I don't go to anyone for advice. XD))<br />[x] you have at least 1 trophy of a sport<br />[x] You used to play Yu-Gi-Oh<br />[x] baggy sweat pants are nice to wear<br />[ ] it's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people<br />[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors<br />[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think<br />[x] sports are fun<br />[x] you sometimes talk with food in your mouth<br />[x] you sleep at night with your socks on<br />[x] you have fished at least once<br /><br />TOTAL= 21<br /><br />YOUR GIRL SIDE<br /><br />[ ] you like to shop ((not for things girls shop for))<br />[ ] you wear eyeliner<br />[ ] you wear the color pink<br />[ ] you go to your mom for advice <i>(Wait, why was the corresponding dad question "used to"...?)</i><br />[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport<br />[ ] you hate wearing all black<br />[ ] you like going to the mall<br />[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures<br />[ ] you like wearing jewelery<br />[ ] you cried watching The Notebook<br />[ ] skirts are a big parts of your wardrobe<br />[ ] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies<br />[ ] you don't like the movie Star Wars<span style="font-style: italic;"> ((BLASPHEMY!))</span><br />[ ] you are/were in gymnastics<br />[x] it takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed ((only because I'm slooooow, and lazy))<br />[x] you smile a lot more than you should<br />[ ] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes<br />[ ] you care about what you look like majority of the time<br />[ ] you like wearing dresses<br />[x] you like wearing body spray/deoderant ((I don't like being smelly, so deoderant is nice D:))<br />[ ] you like high heel shoes<br />[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid<br />[ ] you like putting makeup on others<br />[ ] you like being the star of almost everything<br /><br />TOTAL: 4<br /><br />Boy - 21<br />Girl - 4<br /><br /><br /><br />ROFL. yaaaay.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-39359576904168750562009-12-15T20:45:00.001-08:002009-12-15T20:48:34.981-08:00RIP GeorgeI'm going to miss you.<br /><br />And here, in our last hours together, I don't wanna let you go. You've been my best friend for so many years now, I can't even count how many. You were there for me when I didn't want any one else. You let me pester you and cuddle you and feed you and play with you when I just needed to be distracted. You let me hug you and kiss you when I just needed something to cling to.<br /><br />It's gonna be really hard on me to watch you go, even now I'm trying to fight back the tears... but hopefully one day I'll see you again. You mean so much to me and I am so sorry this is going to happen. If only I would've known, if only...<br /><br />Fuck, I need a drink....Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-2015368722552436092009-12-10T17:11:00.000-08:002009-12-10T17:32:41.986-08:00Good Lord, boys are stupid/EXAMS: 5/7Yesterday, I had no exams. So, I slept in. While my roommate was off writing an exam, I cleaned our room - tidied my desk, dusted the fridge, my desk, the tv, windowsill, etc., swept, and even mopped. I pulled all the old, gross food out of the fridge, emptied the garbage, and even took out and sorted the recycling. Everything was neat and orderly and my room smelled nicely of Mr. Clean. Huttah!~<br /><br />This next part I'll be taking down soon/eventually, so read while you can.<br /><br />When I was done, I went for lunch, then came back and hung out with Joscelyn for a while, then I took a nap. When I got up, a good internet!Friend of mine was on Skype. We were both bored, so we both started drinking. Now, me and him are what we called "fake marries", as in, he's my Skype husband. lol. Eventually other people got on, we had a big group voice chat going, and all was fine and dandy. Until we got drunk. I started crashing - I dunno, outta nowhere I felt really depressed and shit and it was really weird.<br /><br />So, he pulled me aside into a new voice chat so we could talk for a bit, like he and I commonly do. Now, we joke about "dating" all the time and he's made no secret of the fact he actually likes me. And really, it doesn't bother me. I don't care. But last night, we were both drunk, and I was depressed, and he helped me through it best he could, and it was actually really comforting. (by this point, I should make note that it was more or less me listening to him and typing back, as my roommate was asleep and drunk!Trish is not a quiet!Trish, so yeah, I had headphones, a muted mic and I was typing.) And then he actually asked me out. Being drunk, I was like, "Yeah, ok, whatever. Doesn't make a difference to me." (actually, looking back over the chat this morning, I had typed just "ok")<br /><br />...So, for a whole five minutes, I had an internet boyfriend. lmao wtf I'm a dumbass.<br /><br />And yes, I just said five minutes. Not long after I had typed this "ok", he starts going off on a tangent about "distance" - and within five minutes he was giving me the "we live too far away, so we can't date. But we'll keep a special place for each other in our hearts" speech and I was just like, "ok". XD It was soooo fucked up. Oh, yes, and then he went on to explain that if we ever met irl we could date. lmfao.<br /><br />This morning when I woke up, my head was just like, "whaaaaaat. theeeeee. ...fuckwasthat!" And now it seems funny to me. XD<br /><br />Just,<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">"Let's date!"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-weight: bold;">"ok"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">"Let's not date. Let's just <span style="font-style: italic;">'keep a special place for each other in our hearts'.</span>" </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-weight: bold;">"ok"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">"But if we ever meet for real we can date."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-weight: bold;">"ok. If you find a girlfriend before that that's cool, you can have her. I honestly won't care."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">"Alright, yeah, and if you find a boy - "</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-weight: bold;">"unlikely pffft but ok"</span><br /><br />THAT IS THE CONVERSATION IN A NUTSHELL. LMAO.<br /><br />Just so you know, I never plan on meeting him irl. :\ And if I ever did, even less a chance now, lmao. XD<br /><br />Actually, this is a good story, of why you shouldn't drink when you're bored and not with other people (irl), and also why you shouldn't accept voice-chats with a single person, who is also drunk because they are bored and not with other people (irl)<br />LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, KIDDOS, or you might wind up with an internet boyfriend for five minutes.<br /><br />LMFAO<br /><br />it's such a rediculous story that I HAD to tell it! XD<br /><br />Y'know what? Maybe I won't take this down, it's too lulzy.<br /><br /><br />Anywho, two more exams then I get to go home. I can't wait 'til I can gooo hooome.<br /><br /><u>EXAMS</u><br />- <del>Plant ID II</del><br />- <del>Nursery Management</del><br />- <del>Business Management</del><br />- <del>Business Marketing</del><br />- <del>Greenhouse Management</del><br />- Hort. Weed Science<br />- Landscape Design IIKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-7422206662298168322009-12-08T19:34:00.000-08:002009-12-08T19:35:40.659-08:00EXAMS: 4/7Bleh, cannot WAIT until these are done and over with. I really just hope I passed Business Management.<br /><br />- <del>Plant ID II</del><br />- <del>Nursery Management</del><br />- <del>Business Management</del><br />- <del>Business Marketing</del><br />- Greenhouse Management<br />- Hort. Weed Science<br />- Landscape Design IIKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-47761936990072107582009-12-07T07:37:00.000-08:002009-12-07T07:39:30.657-08:00EXAMS: 1/7If my supposedly hardest exam wound up being really easy, should I be proud of myself?<br /><br />...Yes?<br /><br />Good. Because DAMN that was easier than I thought!<br /><br />- <del>Plant ID II</del><br />- Nursery Management<br />- Business Management<br />- Business Marketing<br />- Greenhouse Management<br />- Hort. Weed Science<br />- Landscape Design IIKuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-67527915544587941712009-12-03T10:10:00.000-08:002009-12-03T10:11:36.991-08:00Y'know your semester sucks when...You know your semester sucks when you look FORWARD to exams, because they are LESS stressful than the classes themselves. HURR.<br /><br />Almost done my projects, gotta finish that Nursery temperatures one and do another paragraph or two on my weeds project. Easy peasy.Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-17816869180592023412009-12-01T19:24:00.001-08:002009-12-01T19:25:33.879-08:00LOL<img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bHQ9MTI1OTcyNDE4Mzc*MyZwdD*xMjU5NzI*MzAxODEzJnA9NDE4ODEzJmQ9MjAzNTEwJm49YmxvZ2dlciZnPTImbz*5NTVmZDNjNDY3MjY*NjY4YTZiNmE4ZGNlNzQ*MDA4OSZvZj*w.gif" /><div style='background-color:#e9e9e9; width: 425px;'><object id='A359641' quality='high' data='http://aka.zero.jibjab.com/client/zero/ClientZero_EmbedViewer.swf?external_make_id=tz7vpzH5z4lrJde8&service=elfyourself.jibjab.com&partnerID=ElfYourself' pluginspage='http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='transparent' height='319' width='425'><param name='wmode' value='transparent'></param><param name='movie' value='http://aka.zero.jibjab.com/client/zero/ClientZero_EmbedViewer.swf?external_make_id=tz7vpzH5z4lrJde8&service=elfyourself.jibjab.com&partnerID=ElfYourself'></param><param name='scaleMode' value='showAll'></param><param name='quality' value='high'></param><param name='allowNetworking' value='all'></param><param name='allowFullScreen' value='true' /><param name='FlashVars' value='external_make_id=tz7vpzH5z4lrJde8&service=elfyourself.jibjab.com&partnerID=ElfYourself'></param><param name='allowScriptAccess' value='always'></param></object><div style='text-align:center; width:435px; margin-top:6px;'>Send your own <a href='http://www.elfyourself.com'>ElfYourself</a> <a href='http://sendables.jibjab.com/ecards'>eCards</a></div></div>Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3079314717730089030.post-25131179915768785442009-11-30T09:25:00.000-08:002009-11-30T09:27:07.841-08:00NaNoWriMo groupsSo, I'm so totally in group three I pretty much founded it. I mean, I've been there since pretty much the first week in, so HURR.<br /><br />Bacon, founder and ruler of <b>Group Three: The Go On Without Me's.</b><br /><br />I'm just that cool.<br /><br />But I've got four days left of school and four big projects to do (that I can remember). Wish me luck!Kuroarihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06200503481861300621noreply@blogger.com2